so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
