I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
