Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
