I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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