your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I want a musical about memes.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
