I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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