she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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