YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
