Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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