You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
