I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize