You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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