My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
