I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
