you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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