You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
