I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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