if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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