Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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