I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The power of my boobs compel you
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
