He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
