I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
