I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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