i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
