so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
