careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
