chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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