Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize