I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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