I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
