brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize