sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
