Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She bit a glass in half.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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