its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
