wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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