i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
and she was petting her beer can
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
