'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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