That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
