New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
