im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
