low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
