Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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