But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
