Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
