There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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