next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
