last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm really busy with my period
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