im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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