im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
