she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
