Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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