fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
