id be glad to
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
