Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
